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Allen, Grant, 1848-1899

"The Woman Who Did"

Your name seems to sing in my ears all day long
with the song of the birds, and to thrill through and through me as
I lie awake on my pillow with the cry of the nightjar. Yet, if you
won't take me on my own terms, I know well what will happen. I
shall go away, and grieve over you, of course, and feel bereaved
for months, as if I could never possibly again love any man. At
present it seems to me I never could love him. But though my heart
tells me that, my reason tells me I should some day find some other
soul I might perhaps fall back upon. But it would only be falling
back. For the sake of my principles alone, and of the example I
wish to set the world, could I ever fall back upon any other. Yet
fall back I would. And what good would you have done me then by
refusing me? You would merely have cast me off from the man I love
best, the man who I know by immediate instinct, which is the voice
of nature and of God within us, was intended from all time for me.
The moment I saw you my heart beat quicker; my heart's evidence
told me you were the one love meant for me.


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