"
"And I was wondering why you had written it."
"I had no special reason. I thought of that saying. I had to write
something, so I wrote that. I wonder--I wonder now why long ago my
conscience did not tell me plainly something. I wonder it did not tell
me plainly what you were in my life, all you were."
"Have I--have I really been much?"
"I never knew how much till I thought of you permanently changed
towards me, till I thought of you living, but with your affection
permanently withdrawn from me. That night--you know--?"
"Yes, I know."
"At first I was not sure--I was afraid for a moment about you. Vere
and I were afraid, when your room was dark and we heard nothing. But
even then I did not fully understand how much I need you. I only
understood that in the Palace of the Spirits, when--when you hated
me--"
"I don't think I ever hated you."
"Hatred, you know, is the other side of love."
"Then perhaps I did. Yes--I did."
"How long my conscience was inactive, was useless to me! It needed a
lesson, a terrible lesson.
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