I believe that. I know
it. I must, I will always act upon the knowledge from this moment.
Never mind if it is bitter, cruel. Perhaps it is sometimes put into
the world because of that. I've been a horrible /faineant/, the last
of /faineants/. I protected you from the truth. With Gaspare I managed
to do it. We never spoke of it--never. But I think each of us
understood. And we acted together for you in that. And I--it has often
seemed to me that it was a fine thing to do, and that my motives in
doing it were fine. But sometimes I have wondered whether they weren't
selfish--whether, instead of protecting you, I wasn't only protecting
myself. For it was all my fault. It all came about through me, through
my weakness, my cursed weakness, my cursed weakness and whining for
help." He grew scarlet in the dark, realizing how his pride in his
strength, his quiet assumption with Hermione that he was the stronger,
must often have made her marvel, or almost weep. "I called you away. I
called you to Africa.
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