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Hichens, Robert Smythe, 1864-1950

"A Spirit in Prison"


"These needs you fully satisfied.
"You gave me generously opportunities for kindness, for
thoughtfulness, for impersonal ambition, for looking forward on your
behalf, for unselfishness, for the sacrifice of my little personal
desires, plans, and intentions, for encouragement of you, for
admiration of your abilities, for sympathy--even for gentle criticism
leading you to efforts which won from me eventually a greater respect
for your powers and for secret forgiveness which ended in open
petting. When I prepared the pedestal you were quite ready to mount
it, and to remain upon it without any demonstration of fatigue.
"And so many needs of mine you satisfied.
"But I had more needs, and far other needs, than these.
"I needed not only to make many gifts, to satisfy my passion for
generosity, but to have many gifts, and gifts of a special nature,
made in return to me. I needed to feel another often, if not
perpetually and exclusively, intent on me. I needed to feel
tenderness--watchful, quick, eager tenderness, not tenderness slow-
footed and in blinkers--round about me.


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