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Trollope, Anthony, 1815-1882

"Phineas Finn The Irish Member"

I am not
aware that I have deserved either.
I am, my lord, yours affect.,
CHILTERN.
P.S.--My address will be "The Bull, Willingford."

That last word, in which he half-declared himself to be joined in
affectionate relations to his father, caused him a world of trouble.
But he could find no term for expressing, without a circumlocution
which was disagreeable to him, exactly that position of feeling
towards his father which really belonged to him. He would have
written "yours with affection," or "yours with deadly enmity," or
"yours with respect," or "yours with most profound indifference,"
exactly in accordance with the state of his father's mind, if he had
only known what was that state. He was afraid of going beyond his
father in any offer of reconciliation, and was firmly fixed in his
resolution that he would never be either repentant or submissive
in regard to the past. If his father had wishes for the future,
he would comply with them if he could do so without unreasonable
inconvenience, but he would not give way a single point as to things
done and gone. If his father should choose to make any reference to
them, his father must prepare for battle.
The Earl was of course disgusted by the pertinacious obstinacy of his
son's letter, and for an hour or two swore to himself that he would
not answer it.


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