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"If I were ill, Roddy," she said, "and there was an operation talked
about; if they said to you that there was something I might drag along
for years, half alive, without, but that if I had it, it would either
kill or cure, you wouldn't urge delay. We'd decide for or against it and
be done. It's--it's taking just all the courage I've got to face this
thing now that I am excited--now that I've thought it out and talked it
out with you--now that I've got the big hope before my eyes. But to wait
until I was tangled in the old routine and the babies began to get a
little older and more--human, so that they knew me, and then do it in
cold blood! I couldn't do that. We'd patch up some sort of a life,
pretending a little, quarreling a little, and when my feelings got
especially hurt about something, I'd try to make myself think, and you,
that I was going away. And we'd both know down inside that we were
cowards."
He protested against the word, but she stuck to it.
"We're both afraid now," she insisted.


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