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But I didn't attract anybody. I
was working pretty hard, of course, and that left me too tired to go out
and play--left me a little cross and acid most of the time. But I don't
believe that was the whole reason. It wouldn't have worked out that way
with you. But nobody ever saw me at all. The men I was introduced to
forgot me--were polite to me--got away as soon as they could. They were
always craning around for a look at somebody else. The few men--the two
or three who weren't like that, weren't good enough. But a man did want
me to marry him at last, and for a while I thought I would. Just--just
for the sake of marrying somebody. He wasn't much, but he was some one.
But I knew I'd come to hate him for not being some one else and I
couldn't make up my mind to it. So I took you on instead.
"I stopped hoping, you see, and tried to forget all about it--tried to
crowd it out of my life. I said I'd make my work a substitute for it.
And, in a way, I succeeded. The work opened up and got more interesting
as it got bigger.


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