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Forster, E. M. (Edward Morgan), 1879-1970

"Where Angels Fear to Tread"

"
"Most excellent advice, and I thank you for it. But she
wishes to give tea-parties--men and women together whom she
has never seen."
"Oh, the English! they are always thinking of tea.
They carry it by the kilogramme in their trunks, and they
are so clumsy that they always pack it at the top. But it
is absurd!"
"What am I to do about it?"
"Do nothing. Or ask me!"
"Come!" cried Gino, springing up. "She will be quite pleased."
The dashing young fellow coloured crimson. "Of course I
was only joking."
"I know. But she wants me to take my friends. Come
now! Waiter!"
"If I do come," cried the other, "and take tea with you,
this bill must be my affair."
"Certainly not; you are in my country!"
A long argument ensued, in which the waiter took part,
suggesting various solutions. At last Gino triumphed. The
bill came to eightpence-halfpenny, and a halfpenny for the
waiter brought it up to ninepence. Then there was a shower
of gratitude on one side and of deprecation on the other,
and when courtesies were at their height they suddenly
linked arms and swung down the street, tickling each other
with lemonade straws as they went.
Lilia was delighted to see them, and became more
animated than Gino had known her for a long time. The tea
tasted of chopped hay, and they asked to be allowed to drink
it out of a wine-glass, and refused milk; but, as she
repeatedly observed, this was something like. Spiridione's
manners were very agreeable.


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