And even if it came to
life again it could never be the same, or so she thought. She had
perceived how much its permanence had depended on external barriers,
on the social gulf, and on the dividing presence of another woman. She
could not separate him from his genius; and his genius had long ago
overleapt the social gulf. And now, without poor Flossie, without the
safeguard of his engagement, she felt herself insecure and
shelterless. More than ever since he had overleapt that barrier too.
But though Lucia had found out all these things, she had not yet found
out why it was that she had been so glad to hear that Keith Rickman
was going to be married, nor why she had been so passionately eager to
keep him to his engagement. In any case she could not have borne to be
the cause of unhappiness to another woman; and that motive was so
natural that it served for all.
As things had turned out, if he had married, that, she had understood,
would have been such a closing of the door as would have shut him out
for ever. And now that he was knocking at the door again, now that
there was no reason why, once opened, it should not remain open, she
began to be afraid of what might enter in with him. She made up her
mind that she would not let him in. So she sat down and wrote a cold
little note to say that she was afraid she would not be able to see
him next week. Could he not explain the business in writing? She took
that letter to the post herself.
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