"Will a life that began in such darkness ever rise to the
light which is her natural element? If she is taken, and I stay behind,
and bear my burden patiently in the hope to follow her, will there not be
a gate closed against me in the skies, beyond which I shall see her,
shining among her kindred spirits, in the white robes of perfect
innocence? Ah, my love, my love, as between, us on this earth must for
ever be a gulf your pure soul cannot pass, so between us in the skies
will rise a barrier to sever me from your sweet company!"
The thought of probable separation upon earth, of possible separation in
heaven, was too bitter to him.
"I will not think of these things," he said to himself; "I will not
believe in that possibility of this sacrifice. Ah, no! she will be
saved. Against the bright young life the awful fiat has not gone
forth. Providence has been with me to-day. Providence will go with me
till the end."
He thought how other men had so stood, as he was standing now, face to
face with the great uncertainty, the crisis, the turning-point--the pivot
on which life itself revolved. The pendulum of the mighty clock swings
solemnly to and fro; with every vibration a moment; with every moment
each man's shrouded fates move another step in their inexorable progress.
And the end? What was the goal towards which those dark relentless shapes
were moving?
He thought of Rousseau, balancing the awful question of his soul's
salvation--his poor weak soul adrift upon a sea of doubt.
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