This flirtation, which to Justa was a mere sham of love, constituted
for Manuel a painful awakening from puberty. He had dizzy attacks of
passionate desire which left him mortally weak and crushed. Then he
would stride along hurriedly with the irregular gait of one
suffering from locomotor ataxia; many a time, crossing the pine
grove of the Canal, he was seized with an impulse to jump into the
river and drown himself. The filthy black water, however, hardly
invited to immersion.
It was during these libidinous spells that dark, sinister thoughts
assailed him,--the notion of how useless his life was, the certainty
of an adverse fate,--and as he considered the vagabond, abandoned
existence that awaited him, his soul walked with bitterness and sobs
rose in his throat....
One winter Sunday Justa, who had got into the habit of visiting her
parents on every holiday, did not appear. Manuel wondered whether
the inclement weather might be the cause and he spent the whole week
restless and nervous, counting the days that would intervene before
their next meeting.
On the following Sunday Manuel went to the corner of the Paseo de
los Pontones to wait for the girl to come along; as he espied her at
a distance his heart gave a jump. She was accompanied by a young
dandy, half bull-fighter and half gentleman, wearing a Cordovan hat
and a blue cloak covered with embroidery.
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