In a general way he knew that he was going out into the world from
whence he had come, with an altogether different point of view, to work
out his future along altogether different lines. But he had not made up
his mind to do this at once. He was clearly conscious of one imperative
craving. That was for a sight of Sophie Carr and a chance to talk to her
again. His heart quickened when he thought of their parting. He knew she
was anything but indifferent. He was not an egotist, but he knew she
harbored a feeling akin to his own, and he built hopes on that, despite
her blunt refusal, the logical reasons she had set forth. He hoped
again. He saw himself in the way of becoming competent--as the North,
which is a keen judge, appraises competence. He had chucked some of his
illusions about relative values. He conceived that in time he might
approximate to Sophie Carr's idea of a man.
He wanted to see her, to talk with her, to make her define her attitude
a little more clearly. Looking back with his mind a great deal less
confused by emotion, he wondered why he had been so dumb, why he had not
managed to convey to her that the things she foresaw as denying them
happiness or even toleration for each other were not a final state in
him, that his ideas and habits and pursuits were in a state of flux that
might lead him anywhere.
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