"Why I praised Vatinius," he wrote to Lentulus, "I must beg you not to ask
either in the case of this or of any other criminal. I put it to the
judges that since certain noble lords, my good friends, were too fond of
my adversary [Clodius], and in the Senate would go apart with him under my
own eyes, and would treat him with warmest affection, they must allow me
to have my Publius [Vatinius], since they had theirs [Clodius], and give
them a gentle stab in return for their cuts at me." [11] Vatinius was
acquitted. Cicero was very miserable. "Gods and men approved," he said;
but his own conscience condemned him, and at this time his one
consolation, real or pretended, was the friendship of Caesar. "Caesar's
affectionate letters," he told his brother, "are my only pleasure; I
attach little consequence to his promises; I do not thirst for honors, or
regret my past glory. I value more the continuance of his good-will than
the prospect of anything which he may do for me. I am withdrawing from
public affairs, and giving myself to literature. But I am broken-hearted,
my dear brother;--I am broken-hearted that the constitution is gone, that
the courts of law are naught; and that now at my time of life, when I
ought to be leading with authority in the Senate, I must be either busy in
the Forum pleading, or occupying myself with my books at home.
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