Expressions came round to me that had been used by certain
persons whom even you do not like. They were delighted to think that I had
offended Pompey, and had made Caesar my mortal enemy. This was annoying
enough. But the same persons embraced and kissed even in my presence my
worst foe--the foe of law, order, peace, country, and every good man
[20].... They meant to irritate me, but I had not spirit to be angry. I
surveyed my situation. I cast up my accounts; and I came to a conclusion,
which was briefly this. If the State was in the hands of bad men, as in my
time I have known it to be, I would not join them though they loaded me
with favors; but when the first person in the Commonwealth was Pompey,
whose services had been so eminent, whose advancement I had myself
furthered, and who stood by me in my difficulties, I was not inconsistent
if I modified some of my opinions, and conformed to the wishes of one who
has deserved so well of me. If I went with Pompey, I must go with Caesar
too; and here the old friendship came to bear between Caesar, my brother,
and myself, as well as Caesar's kindness to me, of which I had seen
evidence in word and deed.... Public interest, too, moved me. A quarrel
with these men would be most inexpedient, especially after what Caesar has
done.... If the persons who assisted in bringing me back had been my
friends afterward, they would have recovered their power when they had me
to help them.
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