... Enough of this. Since
those who have no power will not be my friends, I must endeavor to make
friends with those who have. You will say you wished this long ago. I know
that you wished it, and that I have been a mere ass;[18] but it is time
for me to be loved by myself, since I can get no love from them." [19]
Pompey, after leaving Lucca, sent Cicero a message, through his brother,
complaining of his speech on the land act, but assuring him of his own and
Caesar's friendship if he would now be true to them. In an apologetic
letter to Lentulus Spinther, Cicero explained and justified what he meant
to do.
"Pompey," he said, "did not let me know that he was offended. He went off
to Sardinia, and on his way saw Caesar at Lucca. Caesar was angry with me;
he had seen Crassus, and Crassus had prejudiced him. Pompey, too, was
himself displeased. He met my brother a few days after, and told him to
use his influence with me. He reminded him of his exertions in my behalf;
he swore that those exertions had been made with Caesar's consent, and he
begged particularly that, if I could not support Caesar, I would not go
against him. I reflected. I debated the matter as if with the
Commonwealth. I had suffered much and done much for the Commonwealth. I
had now to think of myself. I had been a good citizen; I must now be a
good man.
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